my parents have stupidly left town for 9 days, during which time, multiple celebrations will occur.

house show.
my place.
july 3rd.
7-ish?
the line up:
the ready aim fire!
snoel
the morning kennedy was shot.
questions? 
ask / call me.

i trust that everyone's summer is going beautifully.
<3

Please, no.
I don't want this right now.
At least I don't think so.
I don't think that I'll be able to handle this again.
It's all in my mind. 
That's exactly it.
It's all a figment of my imagination.

I'm terrified.

 Alas, the long-awaited time has come for a roadtrip. (Deep breath in) I can feel the not-Arizona breeze now.  I've been ready for a change of scenery for so long now. Plus,  I get nearly 5 days of Court, the most unbelievable guy ever, new art, the beach, and possibly my favorite hippies!? I have a feeling it's going to be a long 2 weeks before I leave.

I have to admit, I love it when fortune cookies hold true. "Your confidence will lead you on." Granted, I am not the most confident person to grace the surface of the planet, the other night I was confident enough to allow the general public a glance at my sketch book. It paid off when a friend of mine gave me a business proposition. Right now, I will leave it at that - a proposition. As time goes on, I will disclose more information to those who are interested. I am terribly excited because it's something that I have wanted to pursue as a career for quite sometime now. 

The other fortune cookie I got that same evening read, "Your luck will soon be at a high point." I think that Friday it was a two-fer'
but I will remain optimistic. 

___________________________
I highly recommend listening to The Decemberists if you have not yet been privileged enough to do so. (I can't stop listening to "Los Angeles, I'm Yours" and "16 Military Wives" in particular.

Also, this weekend, at the suggestion of a friend, I watched Francis Ford Coppola's Koyaanisqatsi. Definitely watch it if you get the chance, or if you ever find yourself with some spare time. It will change your outlook on life.

there is a tumor on my leg.
to tell you the truth, i don't really know that it's a tumor. this is just my self-diagnosis.
out of all the things to fear, i think that cancer is my most feared.
especially after watching my aunt die from melanoma.
with the exception of one person, everyone that i know who has been diagnosed has died.
i'm ok with dying. really, i am, sure there's a lot of things that i would like to beforehand...but cancer is not going to be the way i die.
i'm sure that you understand.
i'm probably going to extremes.
i am going to the doctor tomorrow. 

despite my pessimism, this makes for a whole new reason to live everyday like it is your last.
do something extroardinary today.
hug someone.
tell them that you love them.
and smile. a lot.

<3

p.s. - for those of you who are interested, 21st is three months from today. i don't expect gifts, but i do expect to be graced with your presence.

Even though I took the afternoon off from work, and I didn't go to class yesterday, I was still very productive.

I took the dog to vet. Apparently he tore his ACL, so he's going to have to have doggie-knee surgery. Let's consider the last time the dog had surgery, and the gaping hole in his side.

..I almost passed out while I was there, probably because I had only eaten candy and nothing else for the day. That was awesome. I told my mom about the surgery, and she doesn't want to pay for the surgery, but she's willing to kill him and pay for euthanasia instead.

The dyer ate my bra. What was one bra is now two separate halves. 

I watched a lovely little French film.

I finished my book.

I started my painting.

This entry was going to be accompanied with photos, but Livejournal is being weird when I try to enter the link, so I'll try to edit them in later. 

I have discovered that I have a new fondness for Tilly and the Wall. Good times.

[	mood	|	optimistic	]
[	music	|	Andrew Jackson Jihad - Cool Kids Everywhere	]

Mmm...I can take a small breath of fresh air. For now, anyway.

Los padres have gone insane (more so than other times in the past) in the past week, and it all started with a friend borrowing a set of house keys so that she could lock the door because everyone (including myself) had gone to work. Sadly, it only escalated from there: inquiries into my savings and how much I make a month, accusations that I have no excuse to not get a full-time job, more accusations that I am irresponsible, a failure, and blahblahblah. The discussion ended in a curfew, and the evening officially came to an end as I screamed into Sunset Point. It kind of hurt my throat, but it felt so good.

I guess that the curfew isn't really horrible thing, since I'm usually home by that time anyway because I should be at work at 6:45. Where I have a problem is that not only did this come out of nowhere (and I have never had a curfew before) but if I am going out someplace, and I know that I am going to be late, I cannot crash at a friend's place because I would be "avoiding the rules." At least, that's what they think. Take Thursday, for instance - I went to go see a friend play a show, and then as has been the same since every Thursday in August, I went to hang out with a couple of friends, one of whom I see exclusively on Thursdays because our schedules are off, and he's leaving for school soon. Apparently I am in the wrong for wanting to spend time with a friend before he leaves the state, and I may be forced to cancel our weekly outings. Luckily, he's no longer moving to Boston, but LA instead, so travelling won't be such a pain.

I would like to think that the "curfew" thing and other issues came out of my parents' dislike for eachother and that they aren't sure how to deal with it, so all of their anger and frustrations are directed at me. I try my best not to be at home because I happen to enjoy life and being happy.

My father demanded that I write him a plan for the rest of my life. I had a couple of suggestions from the guys at work...in a month, I plan to be addicted to crack and living in a crackhouse, etc. I thought that they were good, but then I would definitely not have a place to live. I think that I might be living out of my car for a while, which I don't mind that much. I know I won't be the only one.

Really, that's been my week at home (or at least the portion that I have shared with you all). I apologize for my incoherent thoughts. I'm still trying to wake up, but I'll let you in on the better aspects of my life after a nice shower.

Until then.